


PSYCH 101

by BlackandBlueMascara



Series: Whumptober 2020 [11]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Anxiety, Author Projecting onto Jaskier | Dandelion, Depressed Jaskier | Dandelion, Fear Of Being Touched, Gen, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jaskier | Dandelion Has Anxiety, Jaskier | Dandelion Has Feelings, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:02:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26961094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackandBlueMascara/pseuds/BlackandBlueMascara
Summary: Whumptober 2020 Day 11
Series: Whumptober 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950052
Kudos: 6





	PSYCH 101

**Author's Note:**

> I will be doing only 1 out of the 3 given for the day unless I'm feeling extra creative.
> 
> Today was Defiance|Struggling|Crying and I did Struggling.

Never feeling good enough, never being enough, _hurts._

Always being yelled at, told you could do better.

Don’t you see that I’m trying-I’m trying so hard to be better?

Can’t you see that I’m struggling to carry the weight of your expectations on my shoulders by myself?

I want to be better, to be good enough but it's hard to get out of bed. To look presentable. To fake a smile. To be the happy child that you want me to be, to make you proud, to bring honor to the family name.

I just want to be free from this depression, this anxiety. This fear of being around people, to be afraid of touch because someone didn’t understand the word ‘no’- because people don’t understand that I may look or act a certain way, doesn’t mean that I’m not a person, I can still say no.

I’m struggling in this dark ocean’s storm. I break the surface of the wave, and I’m happy for a few days then I’m dragged back under, sinking deeper and deeper, never able to reach the surface, thinking that I will never be able to breathe again- that this is it, this is how I’m going to die.

I just want to be happy. _I want to be free._

**Author's Note:**

> I will be doing only 1 out of the 3 given for the day unless I'm feeling extra creative.
> 
> Today was Defiance|Struggling|Crying and I did Struggling.
> 
> Warnings/Tags: *Depression *Anxiety *Fear of being touched *Implied Sexual Abuse/Rape/Non-Con
> 
> If any of this may be triggering, do not read.
> 
> ~
> 
> Never feeling good enough, never being enough, hurts.
> 
> Always being yelled at, told you could do better.
> 
> Don’t you see that I’m trying-I’m trying so hard to be better?
> 
> Can’t you see that I’m struggling to carry the weight of your expectations on my shoulders by myself?
> 
> I want to be better, to be good enough but it's hard to get out of bed. To look presentable. To fake a smile. To be the happy child that you want me to be, to make you proud, to bring honor to the family name.
> 
> I just want to be free from this depression, this anxiety. This fear of being around people, to be afraid of touch because someone didn’t understand the word ‘no’- because people don’t understand that I may look or act a certain way, doesn’t mean that I’m not a person, I can still say no.
> 
> I’m struggling in this dark ocean’s storm. I break the surface of the wave, and I’m happy for a few days then I’m dragged back under, sinking deeper and deeper, never able to reach the surface, thinking that I will never be able to breathe again- that this is it, this is how I’m going to die.
> 
> I just want to be happy. I want to be free.
> 
> ~
> 
> So... I may have projected a lot onto Jaskier lol... Today was just a really bad mental health day and my family kept yelling at me-love that for me. 
> 
> These are going to be geared toward's the Witcher's characters. I have not seen, played, or read any of the Witcher series so there may be inaccuracies. Soon when I have the time, will see the watch the T.V series. So be gentle with me lol.
> 
> I'm also going to be doing Spooktober 2020, which was made by Eccentric_Grace, who is on Wattpad and A03, so follow them and follow me on Fanfiction.net and Wattpad-where I post original content- at BlackandBlueMascara.
> 
> This and Spooktober 2020 will be posted on here, Fanfiction.net, and Wattpad.


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